Hard Walks
Yesterday I walked down a path with a family hat I thought I would not have to walk again. Last year a 17 year old boy in our church was in an accident skateboarding. His brain injuries were severe. He has been in the hospital on life support since. He looked like he was starting to improve but in August he had a Grand Mal seizure and after brain scans, MRI's etc., he was determined to be of no hope of recovery and that he was essentially going to have more seizures until it killed him. This poor family had to face the choice that we had to face 4 years ago. They chose to remove life support and allow him to go home to God. Corinne and I spent yesterday with the family as their son, brother, cousin died. It took a while.
My heart was breaking for our friends as we stood with them, prayed with them, and comforted them as they walked this hard road.
I don't know why I am posting this except that today I am numb. I don't need comforting. I don't need to cry. I honestly can't say what I need. I always need Jesus both in times of sorrow and in times of joy. I don't feel as though my old wounds have been re-opened. It was hard to see someone else go through what we did. I felt awful for them.
It is so easy to say to grieving people, "They are in a better place." It is true. They are. We who are left behind are not! There are many bible verses that talk about the comfort from God and all are applicable and all are true. But unless you have watched your child breathe their last breath and have had to look on them in their coffin, those words seem empty. The best you can do is offer your condolences and see what they actually need. Don't look for them to comfort you and don't be offended if they just don't have anything to give you. Offer to cook a meal, or to cut their lawn, or to take some of the mundane burdens of everyday living off their hands for a while. This is what they need.
If you have walked their walk before then be a listener and know that the walk still is hard one even after the funeral. If you have not, don't try to fix them, absolutely DO NOT TELL THEM YOU KNOW HOW THEY FEEL. YOU DO NOT!!!!. Just serve them as they need and don't expect them to give you anything. They do no not have it to give.
My heart was breaking for our friends as we stood with them, prayed with them, and comforted them as they walked this hard road.
I don't know why I am posting this except that today I am numb. I don't need comforting. I don't need to cry. I honestly can't say what I need. I always need Jesus both in times of sorrow and in times of joy. I don't feel as though my old wounds have been re-opened. It was hard to see someone else go through what we did. I felt awful for them.
It is so easy to say to grieving people, "They are in a better place." It is true. They are. We who are left behind are not! There are many bible verses that talk about the comfort from God and all are applicable and all are true. But unless you have watched your child breathe their last breath and have had to look on them in their coffin, those words seem empty. The best you can do is offer your condolences and see what they actually need. Don't look for them to comfort you and don't be offended if they just don't have anything to give you. Offer to cook a meal, or to cut their lawn, or to take some of the mundane burdens of everyday living off their hands for a while. This is what they need.
If you have walked their walk before then be a listener and know that the walk still is hard one even after the funeral. If you have not, don't try to fix them, absolutely DO NOT TELL THEM YOU KNOW HOW THEY FEEL. YOU DO NOT!!!!. Just serve them as they need and don't expect them to give you anything. They do no not have it to give.
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