Proverbs 31 - For the Guys?
The pastor gets up and states, "Today's message will be from Proverbs 31." 75% of the congregation cringes. Why? Because 75% are women and the pastor is a man. Historically, this chapter has been used as a flagellant against women by men. When I say historically, I am not talking 100-200 years. I am talking about thousands of years.
When I had just been saved by Grace, I was a single guy. I came up against what many single Christian men lament as "Why are all women looking for guys who are Jesus Christ?! We can't measure up to that!" This was my lament as well. I did not know that the girls were all asking, "Why do all these guys expect us to be Prov 31 women?"
Well, it has been many moons since then and I have been blessed by a Proverbs 31 woman! (Yes my love, I am at the city gates. The virtual ones.) I would say that she is indeed far closer to Proverbs 31 than I am to being Jesus Christ. By many orders of magnitude! I have, I do, and I will sing her praises and I try to honor her as often as I can. She has earned it and deserves it. She deserves it much more than the praise I receive simply by being her husband.
So why do we have that standard? (For my Christian friends, I will preface this with a disclaimer that this post is not about a debate on women in leadership in the church, so relax.) It also begs the question of why am I addressing this post to guys? [Ladies you are also welcome here. :o)] If you read the very beginning of the chapter it is a saying from King Lemuel's mother to him. So it is a woman telling her son what to look for in a woman to be his wife.
Guys! This is not a passage about being the perfect wife and a must do for all women who are married or planning to be. It is about a woman who is quite capable to hold her own in a tough world. It is a statement saying that if you marry a Barbie doll, that is who will be your wife. But what a man really needs in this world is a woman that is capable to help him manage his house, help raise his kids if they have them and is just as capable of earning an income as is he. A Barbie doll may turn heads, but for how long and how much respect will she bring to your family? Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that all beautiful women are Barbie dolls. I am saying that women who are only concerned with how they look are not the best choice for wives. I believe that is what the passage is saying too. It is not a checklist but a guideline for attitude.
So guys I would put these questions to you. Why should your wife want to be a "Prov 31" woman if you are not worthy of it? In other words do you recognize the blessing she is and the abilities that she has and allow her and trust her to use those abilities? Or do you see her as someone to bring you pleasure and make your life easier? Are you making her life easier?
Proverbs 31 should be a way to extol women who are strong leaders. Women who are intelligent and able to function as a help mate. If you doubt what I say read it! But don't read it with the mindset to compare or judge. Read it with the urge to understand how God wants the attitudes of wives to be.
When I had just been saved by Grace, I was a single guy. I came up against what many single Christian men lament as "Why are all women looking for guys who are Jesus Christ?! We can't measure up to that!" This was my lament as well. I did not know that the girls were all asking, "Why do all these guys expect us to be Prov 31 women?"
Well, it has been many moons since then and I have been blessed by a Proverbs 31 woman! (Yes my love, I am at the city gates. The virtual ones.) I would say that she is indeed far closer to Proverbs 31 than I am to being Jesus Christ. By many orders of magnitude! I have, I do, and I will sing her praises and I try to honor her as often as I can. She has earned it and deserves it. She deserves it much more than the praise I receive simply by being her husband.
So why do we have that standard? (For my Christian friends, I will preface this with a disclaimer that this post is not about a debate on women in leadership in the church, so relax.) It also begs the question of why am I addressing this post to guys? [Ladies you are also welcome here. :o)] If you read the very beginning of the chapter it is a saying from King Lemuel's mother to him. So it is a woman telling her son what to look for in a woman to be his wife.
Guys! This is not a passage about being the perfect wife and a must do for all women who are married or planning to be. It is about a woman who is quite capable to hold her own in a tough world. It is a statement saying that if you marry a Barbie doll, that is who will be your wife. But what a man really needs in this world is a woman that is capable to help him manage his house, help raise his kids if they have them and is just as capable of earning an income as is he. A Barbie doll may turn heads, but for how long and how much respect will she bring to your family? Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that all beautiful women are Barbie dolls. I am saying that women who are only concerned with how they look are not the best choice for wives. I believe that is what the passage is saying too. It is not a checklist but a guideline for attitude.
So guys I would put these questions to you. Why should your wife want to be a "Prov 31" woman if you are not worthy of it? In other words do you recognize the blessing she is and the abilities that she has and allow her and trust her to use those abilities? Or do you see her as someone to bring you pleasure and make your life easier? Are you making her life easier?
Proverbs 31 should be a way to extol women who are strong leaders. Women who are intelligent and able to function as a help mate. If you doubt what I say read it! But don't read it with the mindset to compare or judge. Read it with the urge to understand how God wants the attitudes of wives to be.
:D
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