Man of Faith? No. Man of hope. Maybe.
I have had several people tell me that I am an example of great faith. I don't understand this because I feel that I am an example of lousy faith. Yes I have had some and am still having some very difficult trials. But trusting God is not something I will myself to do. It is something that I have no choice but to do. I see this more as desperation than faith. God has stripped me of any ability to resolve any of the issues I face and has left me with hoping in Him and Him alone. If I did not have Him to hope in I would die. Again not faith. Just no other choice. Some might say that that is exactly where God wants me to be. I will agree because that is exactly where He has me. But I am not convinced that it is faith.
Abraham is an example of great faith. He was rich and set where he was and yet he listened to God's call and left. He had the power and ability to do different but he did not. You might then say that if God calls you, you have no choice but to follow. I think we still can choose. Abraham chose and he did not have to. That is great faith.
I have heard Peter being described as simple, bullheaded, and sometimes thickheaded. Yes he was uneducated. Yes he was brash, and at times prideful. No doubt he loved Jesus. But I too am often stubborn, thickheaded and to be perfectly honest, downright stupid, regardless of my education. Just ask Corinne. ;) Peter, in a boat, during a storm:
Matthew 14: Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”29 “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
The point is Peter, in faith, got out and walked on the water for a bit even though he was terrified. He had faith. If that were me, (the similarity in name is irrelevant) the boat would have been tipped over by the waves and I would be flung into the water and screaming out to God to save me as I sunk beneath the waves. Thus, hope in desperation. See the difference?
There are other examples in the bible of great faith. I don't fit the bill. I am not exhibiting false humility. I really don't see myself that way. If I were an example, it would be of a guy that has faced and is facing many trials and is so helpless that he is left with only hoping in God. Again not great faith. When I come out on the other side I am often scarred, sometimes singed (hair still smoking at times), and usually flat on my face crawling out from under some boulder. Sometimes wondering if I should have survived. But I do survive and I am thankful. I am also terribly aware that is by the grace of God and God alone that I have survived and made it through. If I had great faith, I would have caught the boulder and tossed it aside.
So I guess I will continue to face trials because I have not learned my lesson. I give God all glory, I know he is in control, and I desperately hope for an end to whatever trial I am facing. Maybe my lesson is one of confidence. Not in myself but in God. That would be faith.
Abraham is an example of great faith. He was rich and set where he was and yet he listened to God's call and left. He had the power and ability to do different but he did not. You might then say that if God calls you, you have no choice but to follow. I think we still can choose. Abraham chose and he did not have to. That is great faith.
I have heard Peter being described as simple, bullheaded, and sometimes thickheaded. Yes he was uneducated. Yes he was brash, and at times prideful. No doubt he loved Jesus. But I too am often stubborn, thickheaded and to be perfectly honest, downright stupid, regardless of my education. Just ask Corinne. ;) Peter, in a boat, during a storm:
Matthew 14: Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”29 “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
The point is Peter, in faith, got out and walked on the water for a bit even though he was terrified. He had faith. If that were me, (the similarity in name is irrelevant) the boat would have been tipped over by the waves and I would be flung into the water and screaming out to God to save me as I sunk beneath the waves. Thus, hope in desperation. See the difference?
There are other examples in the bible of great faith. I don't fit the bill. I am not exhibiting false humility. I really don't see myself that way. If I were an example, it would be of a guy that has faced and is facing many trials and is so helpless that he is left with only hoping in God. Again not great faith. When I come out on the other side I am often scarred, sometimes singed (hair still smoking at times), and usually flat on my face crawling out from under some boulder. Sometimes wondering if I should have survived. But I do survive and I am thankful. I am also terribly aware that is by the grace of God and God alone that I have survived and made it through. If I had great faith, I would have caught the boulder and tossed it aside.
So I guess I will continue to face trials because I have not learned my lesson. I give God all glory, I know he is in control, and I desperately hope for an end to whatever trial I am facing. Maybe my lesson is one of confidence. Not in myself but in God. That would be faith.
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