Grief: A Part of Living; A Part of Loving

Pastor Jodi Van Rhee of the Adventure 4 Square Church in Draper, Utah gave a wonderful sermon today which God had give to her to give to us. For those of my readers who don't know, her husband of 28 years, Eric, died 2 weeks ago.  We deeply loved Eric and Jodi, still do, and are mourning the loss.  Jodi told the congregation not to apologize for grieving the loss of Eric.  There were other things that God had for us but I am not addressing those here. 

I remember when our daughter Rachael died, several people told us that they felt that they did not have the right to grieve about her.  The right?  We told them that grief is not a right but a part of being human. It is a part of life. It is a gift.  Rachael touched people who were and were not related to her.  They loved her deeply as did we, her family.  How wonderful for us to know that our daughter was the kind of person that would evoke a deep grief in those she left behind.  It means she loved and was loved.  So too, Eric.  We loved him deeply and in turn miss him deeply.  This does not in anyway take away or lessen the grief the Van Rhee family is experiencing anymore than the grief others felt, lessened our grief when Rachael died.  You may be surprised to know that your grief celebrates the life of those who have died.  

So go ahead. Cry, mourn, remember in bittersweet tones.  It is OK and it is welcomed.  What is not OK is to expect those who are closest and feeling the loss the greatest to lift you up and support you in your grief. That is for the rest of us who are grieving, to do for each other.  We can carry the burden of the Van Rhee grief as well as others who are grieving, amongst the many of us who love them and loved Eric.  Our grief is still real and is ours individually and corporately.  We can pray for them.  We can sit with them and listen.  We can cry for and with them. What we cannot do is take from them.  We will just let them know that we love them.