My 2 Week Gauntlet Approaches
The 18th is 2 days away and I am starting to feel it. It is weird how a 2 week period each year can cause odd emotions to spring forth. Rachael was hit June 18th 2008. It has been 8 years. She died on the street that day and they revived her. Sort of. Her brain was gone. We then spent the next 2 weeks on a roller coaster of is she alive or did she die. Toughest 2 weeks of my life. Praise God he carried us through it. Praise God, Eric and Jodi Van Rhee walked with us as well. Her death caused an explosion in our lives that initiated a series of events that ripped through and tore our family apart. It remains apart still. A half a year later, I almost died from meningitis that has left me disabled.
So the 18th is back again. Father's Day is on the 19th. It still brings tears. My birthday is on the 25th and the actual death day is July 2. Her birthday was July 26. The grief is not as sharp but it is still there and it hangs over me this time of year. I find myself a little edgy a little distracted and yes, easily saddened. I probably will feel that way until I die. Then I will be with her again for eternity. This is the biggest reason and maybe the only one why my grief has not devastated me. Having Jesus Christ in her life and in ours is what brought us through. But because it is so hard for many of my friends who are still grieving I want to list them here. Not as some kind of badge of honor but to let them know that their grief is not forgotten and that I am thinking of them and praying for them.
George and Hannah Gutzmer - for their son and most recently, George's sister
Jodi and the whole Van Rhee family - for her husband, their father, brother, son, my pastor and good friend Eric.
Lee, Mary, and Makea Kelly - for their son and brother, Thayer
Rob and Traci Lindley - for their son Zach
Fran Pillow - for her husband and my friend Doug as well as her son
Barbara Leitch - for her husband and my close friend Kevin
If I missed anyone please accept my apology and my understanding that you are grieving. Grief is such a personal journey. I say journey because once it begins it is so different for each and every person and it must be traveled. Traveled at your pace and no one else's. It changes along the way as well. I just want to tell all of my dear friends I have listed as well as my own family who may or may not read this, that it is OK to still be grieving. I feel a pain that is similar but not the same as yours. It cannot be. I love you all.
So the 18th is back again. Father's Day is on the 19th. It still brings tears. My birthday is on the 25th and the actual death day is July 2. Her birthday was July 26. The grief is not as sharp but it is still there and it hangs over me this time of year. I find myself a little edgy a little distracted and yes, easily saddened. I probably will feel that way until I die. Then I will be with her again for eternity. This is the biggest reason and maybe the only one why my grief has not devastated me. Having Jesus Christ in her life and in ours is what brought us through. But because it is so hard for many of my friends who are still grieving I want to list them here. Not as some kind of badge of honor but to let them know that their grief is not forgotten and that I am thinking of them and praying for them.
George and Hannah Gutzmer - for their son and most recently, George's sister
Jodi and the whole Van Rhee family - for her husband, their father, brother, son, my pastor and good friend Eric.
Lee, Mary, and Makea Kelly - for their son and brother, Thayer
Rob and Traci Lindley - for their son Zach
Fran Pillow - for her husband and my friend Doug as well as her son
Barbara Leitch - for her husband and my close friend Kevin
If I missed anyone please accept my apology and my understanding that you are grieving. Grief is such a personal journey. I say journey because once it begins it is so different for each and every person and it must be traveled. Traveled at your pace and no one else's. It changes along the way as well. I just want to tell all of my dear friends I have listed as well as my own family who may or may not read this, that it is OK to still be grieving. I feel a pain that is similar but not the same as yours. It cannot be. I love you all.
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