6 months is not long enough...

6 months ago today, one of the most influential men in my life, Eric Van Rhee, died.  I tried writing a poem about it but the words failed.  He was not just my pastor and mentor, he was my friend.  He was my brother in a very deep and true sense.  He stood next to me while my daughter died.  He and his wife Jodi, who is very dear to us as well, sat with us as we had to make the decision to let our Rachael die.  He gave me vision.  He encouraged me. He restored my confidence in myself as well as my love for the Word of God.  He trusted my gifts.  Today, I was reminded of how much he meant to me.  A lot. Too many hurts and betrayals has made me trust others very cautiously.  I trusted Eric implicitly and without hesitation.  Never blindly.  At the movies the other day, the previews showed a remake of the classic Western, "The Magnificent Seven."  I was excited and the first thought that came to my head is Eric and I need to see this one.  (I kind of got him into Westerns and we enjoyed them together when we could get away from our busy schedules.)  Then it hit me. Tears welled up.

But as much as I miss him, I can't imagine the level of loneliness and pain experienced by his wife and family.  I know the type of pain, but I do not know the specific.  Tears will fall and tears will continue to fall.  The Van Rhee pain and grief is theirs.  We who loved Eric grieve as well. But the hole in our lives is not day-to-day.  We don't look up and expect to see him sitting at his computer, piano, or watching football.  We don't have an empty bed.  We don't have the excitement of an achievement and no fatherly voice of pride and encouragement in our ears.

My grief at the loss of Eric has shifted from my loss to that of the pain of the Van Rhee family.  No, I am not saying that I feel their pain.  That would be insulting to them.  I am grieving at seeing people who are dear to me in so much pain.  Do I wish for them to stop grieving so I can too?  Goodness no!  I am selfish because I am human but I am not that selfish.  No, I love the Van Rhee family and I pray for them but I know that this is a road that they have to travel.  It is a road of pain, suffering, loneliness, and tears.  So what can I do?  I walk with them.  I pray for them. I offer to carry the burden of things that cannot be set aside but has nothing to do with the road they are on.  I do not place other burdens upon them. Why?  Because that is what families do for one another.  So how long will they be on this road? As long as it takes and it is not for any of us to tell them to get off. My family and I still walk our own road. As far as I am concerned, 6 months is no where near long enough. 

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