Stupid questions with appropriate responses!

Here are some actual questions that I have received and answered.

Hottest day in Philadelphia history while working under my car:
Q: Are you working on your car?
A: No I am just enjoying the shade.

In response to pregnancy announcement (10th or 11th).
Nasty asker-
Q:  You know, they know what causes that.
A: Really?!  Oh please tell me cause my wife and I are on our 11th child  and we don't know!

Friendly askers (room full of co-workers):
Q: Same
A:  Better than everyone and anyone in this room! (My co-workers laughed and never asked again)

Lying in a hospital bed with a fever of 106+ and a crash cart outside my room:
Nurse after she has just readjusted my IV meds, blood samples and BP taken for the 5th time in one night when I was supposed to get some sleep.
Q: How are you feeling Mr. Kligmann?
A: My wife, family and God will not allow me to write this answer.

There have been and will be many others but this is the number one of all time.  My 12 year old daughter had died 1 month earlier and my left kidney was not functioning after surgery.  My urologist, unaware of the preceding tragedy, a really nice young man, asked me if I was under any unusual amount of stress. I explained to him that my daughter had just died.  He was taken aback and felt awful and did not know what to say. So he asked-
Q: I can prescribe Viagra for you if you and your wife would like to try for another?
A: (Kudos to me for not laughing out loud until I had left the building) No, I think my wife is too old for childbirth.

In the immortal words of comedian Bill Engvall, "Here's your sign."

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